Most parenting books tell you about the "terrible twos" - those crazy, unpredictable days of unannounced tantrums, yelling and screaming in the shopping queue for no apparent reason and the sensational throwing oneself to the floor in an anguished rage!  Fast forward three years as your child has just started school and you may discover some of those dreadful memories coming back to haunt you.  Five year olds with "attitude", answering back, rolling their eyes in despair.  It is probably more frustrating for parents: a two year old is just a baby; a five year old should know better.  But, it seems common.

The reasons behind this strange character change could be numerous. Your five year old has just started school and is discovering their own independence.  They want to act grown-up in front of their friends and are being exposed to more grown up behaviour from school friends.  They are realising that they have an opinion and that they can make themselves heard.

What can be done to ease the tension?  Give them the chance to feel in control of some situations.  Let them make a few decisions: dinner menu, which park to go to, where to shop.  This will make them feel empowered.

Reward them when they are good.  Positive enforcement is very valuable and has great results.  Even get them a reward chart and make sure you stick on a sticker each time good behaviour is spotted.  For free customised sticker charts log in to ToucanLearn.com and go to Fun Stuff!  Get your child to choose the picture to illustrate the chart and even go with you to buy the stickers.

Use avoidance tactics to avert a problem before it happens!  Try and distract a potential bad mood with something fun or constructive to do together.

Not all of us have the fortune of a nanny like Mary Poppins to magically tidy up the house behind the kids - but introduce games and rewards and even the youngest toddlers can help clear up after themselves.  Tidying is a good routine to get into because it teaches responsibility and co-operation from an early age.  It is a good idea to designate a part of the day to tidying, it might be at the end of the day, or it may just be between different activities.

Create a warning sound that you can use to signal that tidy-up time is approaching.  Your kids are certain to have a toy that makes a distinctive toy - a whistle, a drum, a tambourine.  Use this to give a three minute warning that activities are about to cease and you're all going to work together to tidy up.

Make a race out of tidying up.  Assign different areas or groups of toys or games to put away to different children.  If you only have one child, then the race is against you!  See how quickly they can put away or how clear they can make the floor?  Designate a particular song to tidy up to and play it on CD or simply sing as you all work. For older children learning phonics and counting, introduce letters and numbers during tidy-up time.  "How many things beginning with 'B' can you put away?" and so on.

Once everywhere is tidy, use good old fashioned praise and rewards to let your children know that they have done a good job and been super-helpful.  Sticker charts are great to create a habit of tidying up.  The key is to make tidying up fun, after all, tidying up with your children has to be more fun than you having to do it on your own!

Having kids isn't only about indulging them - perhaps they can indulge you too?! For the first years of their lives, you run around doing everything for them, but as they grow older, you should start have them running around you! Introduce them to the idea of chores as soon as they are able to do something useful. From about 2 years old, they should be able to help tidy away their toys, put things in the bin and carry things for you from one place to another. It may seem cruel to introduce them to chores so young, but actually they will love the responsibility and they will love doing 'grown-up' things. Reward them through sticker charts at first and they will feel a sense of achievement. As they grow older and more able, you can introduce bigger chores and even start giving an allowance for their contribution. This will introduce them to the concepts of money and the value of money from an early age.