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Every child is different, every parent is different, moods change, circumstances change, we all react differently; so why should positive parenting work in all cases for all children of all ages?
Positive parenting means dealing with a child's behavioural in a calm and fair way. It means focusing on the good rather than the bad behaviour and rewarding accordingly. Does your child get more attention when they are behaving well or when they are being badly? If the answer is 'when they are being naughty', then you may wish to read on and look at some ways of addressing this and putting a more positive spin on your parenting.
Why does it work?
It works because it builds on a child's desire to please you. They remember how they feel when they pleased you, and they like it and they want it to continue. It may work slightly differently for different children or ages, but in principal its the same for all.
How does it work?
- You show love and affection to your child and you create a good, secure relationship with them.
- You let them know when they do well and when they please you.
- You show a good example and they will be more likely to follow.
- You reinforce good behaviour by giving lots of praise and you ignore any minor bad behaviour.
- You work together with your child to make decisions.
- You avoid hard discipline and punishments.
- You are fair and kind in your approach.
Tips for Positive Parenting:
- Understand your child and their personality - children are all different and strong minded children may need a different focus to a more timid child.
- Keep calm and in control at all times.
- Lead by example - try and be a calm, polite person in your adult relationships as well as with your children.
- Keep expectations reasonable - remember they are children so make sure you don't expect too much.
- Understand why they are misbehaving - why are they doing naughty things? See if you can unravel a reason. Perhaps they are jumping on the bed because they haven't been out all day and need some fresh air and a run around outside.
- Chat about it - have a chat about why the behaviour is going on and discuss what you can do together to make it better.
Don't resort to severe punishment in every case. Keep in mind that the children are learning and pushing boundaries to see what they can get away with. It's our responibility to show them what they can and can't do, and to help them learn this so they make their own decisions about behaviour.