Making friends, especially if you are a toddler, is not always easy... some children are keen to have 'best friends', others go around in packs and some are simply not interested at all.  When you ask who they played with a nursery and they say 'no one' it can be heart-breaking.  But, we have to remember that some children are emotionally 'advanced' and understand the concept of having a friend; whereas others are more interested in playing along side another child with no interaction at all.

If your child is nervous of making friends or you want to gently encourage them to make some new friends, here are a few ideas for encouraging and guiding them.  Friendship is an important part of all our lives and the importance placed on making friends in childhood is demonstrated by the fact that 'Forming Relationships' is part of the EYFS and is a focus of Personal, Social and Emotional Development.

Here are some tips on how you can help children make friends:

• Give them plenty of opportunity to make friends: see lots of people and do lots of different activities
• Give them lots of praise when they do something kind to another person
• Don't force them or try to make them form friendships with people they don't like even if you like them!
• Try not to interfere when they are interacting or playing
• Be bold and approach people at playgroup and get to know them yourself
• Lead by example, chat to people and make friends yourself
• Talk about being kind, sharing and being a good friend while you are at home
• Support any efforts to make friends even if they fail
• Look at photos of friends and chat about how much fun they can be

A new service has been launched to help parents and child carers who suddenly find that they have lost track of one of their children.  Find My Child offers an iPhone app, voiced by Mariella Frostrup, with which you register information about your children.  A subscription of just £3 per month allows you to raise an alert in the event of one of you losing sight of one of your children.  Raising an alert sends a message out to other Find My Child users in the vicinity, sharing a picture so that they can help look for the missing child.  Should they find them, they can then call the parent directly and work together to reunite the child.

Find My Child respects everyone's privacy, only sharing information on a 'need to know' basis.  Usually your registered photo of a child will remain completely private, it will only be shared when you need to source help in finding your missing child.

The app is aimed at covering the period immediately after your child goes missing, to the point where the police can be involved in a search.  Should you have to escalate to a police search, this 'window' typically lasts up to three hours, but obviously you are more likely to find your child within the first 30 minutes.  Find My Child uses 'social helpworking' to bring everyone in the area together to help you in your moment of panic - a perfect use for a smartphone app!

Download Find My Child from the app store, or find out more at the Find My Child website.

It is crazy to think that you can teach children to be well behaved in a week, or a month or even a year!  Good behaviour is something that you are constantly teaching and demonstrating throughout a child's life and its not really something that is either learned or now.

Here are a few guidelines:

• If children come to blows (and it does happen!) first pay attention to the child who is hurt.  Turn your back to the aggressor (so they get no attention), give a hug and reassurance to the child who is harmed.  Then deal with the child who did the aggressive action.  Make it clear you are upset with them, but don't give them too much attention as this may have been their aim.
• Try and keep your voice level even when the little ones are getting disruptive.  Screaming and shouting does not work and just makes the situation louder and more aggressive.  Try to keep your voice level.
• Try to avoid confrontation by leading them away from an action before they do it.  If you see someone climbing onto the coffee table, get in there quickly to avert the standing on the table and distract them away.
• When someone is behaving badly, ignore it if you can and give no extra attention.  Turn your back, remove them from the room and instead focus on the good behaving children.  Attention can be contagious and you will find everyone wanting that positive focus!
• Have rules that everyone understands and keep a chart on the wall to remind them: no biting, kicking, hitting or pushing over.  Offer lots of kind hands, nice talking and sharing.  Point to the rules when they need a reminder.
• Remember you are the adult!  Don't get stroppy and angry yourself if things are not going right!  Try to stay cool!
• If someone is hurting another, rather than punishing them, encourage instead to comfort their friend and make right what they did - turn the behaviour around.
• Teach children to look after themselves.  If someone is snatching or pushing, instead of crying or shouting for mummy teach them to say, "Stop! I don't like it!" or "Stop! That is hurting me!".  Give them the power and the means to try and deal with the situation.
• Keep to your threats.  If you threaten you will go home from play group if they snatch again, you must see it through no matter how much fun you were having with the other mums!
• Be fair and treat everyone equally.  Yes different children respond to different threats etc, but keep things easy.
• Keep it positive, give lots of praise, and have fun!

More children than ever took to the streets this year to 'trick or treat' their neighbours and friends.  Hoards of little witches and cute devils waved buckets at neighbours front doors in the hope of some lovely, bewitched sweeties being thrown in!

Going out trick or treating has become more and more popular over the years.  It used to be something they did in America, not here in England, but it has gradually become part of our annual festivities.  According to an ASDA survey reported in the Daily Telegraph, if you are dressed as a cute witch, skeleton or vampire you are likely to get more sweets than if you are dressed as someone like Freddie Kruger. Something to bear in mind!

Here are some other tips to bear in mind for next year:

• Wear a good costume (nothing too scary)
• Only go to doors with a pumpkin in the window or something that says a) they are in and b) the are getting involved in Halloween and that probably means c) they have treats to give away!
• Take a cute child with you... you'll get more sweeties that way!
• Be polite when the door is answered... you want to make friends not annoy people!
• Go in small groups - its more fun!
• Make sure you don't let the children eat all the sweets at once! Count them, colour sort them, build a tower with them, see how far they stretch end to end and eat them over a long period of time... along with plenty healthy foods along the way!

Research has shown that children benefit more from childcare when their parents are involved.

This research has proved that parents who take an active interest in their children's childcare, reap the benefits. And, the children of parents who get involved settle better and progress more quickly.

This is not to say that parents need to go in and help once a week at nursery or donate lots of funds. It simply means trying to do the following:

• trying to understand what activities your child is doing when at nursery or with the childminder
• finding out what topics are being studied and chat about them together at home
• speaking to the childminder and keeping in touch with progress and development
• sharing with the childminder what your child has enjoyed at home or outings they have had at the weekend
• keeping an eye on your child's Daily Diary and sharing it with them
• looking and enjoying the arts and crafts your child come home with... perhaps trying them for yourselves at home

The Childcare Trust suggests arranging a daily diary for your child as it is a great idea to monitor and share activities and events. For a great, easy to use on-line Daily Diary (and a great activities-based learning programme for 0-5s) go to ToucanLearn.com for a free trial!

The cost of after school activities and clubs is getting so very expensive. Should you choose ballet or rainbows? Beavers or football? French club or swimming? Half of parents are having to cancel their children's after school clubs because its just getting too expensive.

Some research carried out by MyVoucherCodes has discovered that over a third of parents say their children do not take part in after school activities and many of those have had to stop the clubs because its just too expensive.

1,192 parents were questioned by MyVoucherCodes to look at parents habits when it comes to children's clubs. A third said that their children did not take part in any after school activities. 24% said their children did activities on an occasional basis. Of those who did not attend clubs the reason given was, according to more than half, that the parents had to save money.

A high percentage, 27%, said their children did not want to do any after school clubs. And, of those who did attend activities on an occasional basis said the reason behind this occasional attendance was that the children were "too lazy"!

While many clubs are expensive and require special equipment or uniforms, many are not. Rainbows and Beavers (a weekly hour long meeting with games and activities) costs about £20 a term. Play groups and church children's play days range can costs as little as £1 a family for each session. Library play and stay sessions can be as little as 50p per child.

So, it is more a question of choosing activities that are appropriate and affordable rather than just saying no to all activities.

Over 17,000 children are separated from their mothers every year in this country because they are sent to prison, a fact that is causing children to experience harmful emotional, social and psychological problems.

The Howard League for Penal Reform suggests that many of the women jailed could have been punished by setting them to community tasks instead of custodial sentences which would have saved 11,000 children from separation. Many of the women in prison are awaiting trail or indeed are found not guilty, meaning that the separation is not necessarily essential. Separation is very damaging for children who are not even allowed access, as many visiting hours are scheduled during school hours and weekend parental/family days are being reduced because of budget and funding cuts.

Twelve women's prisons exist in Britain, and just over half have a mother and baby unit which equates to fewer than 70 places. It has been suggested that non violent crimes be dealt with on a local level with secure, local units being used to house women closer to their families rather than in far away prisons.

Over a third of women in prison have children under five and half have children under 16.

Shocking facts to face... even more shocking and sad for the children effected.

Sometimes, you just want to break free - do something different, try something new, break the rules!  It's the same if you're a child.  So often we insist that the children follow a routine, do things in a certain order, and follow various rules.  However, just occasionally, its fun and exciting to do things in a different way.   Here are just a few ideas to suggest to the children to shake things up a bit.  You could ask their ideas and see what they come up with.  Make sure they understand though, that this is a special, unusual kind of day and not the norm...just in case they get any ideas!

• Have a picnic breakfast: pack breakfast and go to the park or countryside and have a lovely picnic.
• Paint the leaves: take a paintbrush and some poster paints and get the children to paint some leaves on low branches in the garden.  It's great fun!
• Spread a rug in the living room for a picnic lunch if it's raining.  Wrap the food as if you were going on a real picnic!
• Get the children to choose dinner.  Show them what you have in your fridge and get their suggestions for what to make with it.  You may need to pop out to get more ingredients.
• Blend a breakfast cereal.  Take handfuls of different cereals you have in the cupboard and make a new special brand.
• Have frothy hot chocolate (warmed very slightly in the microwave) rather than milk, just for a change.
• Make a robot out of cardboard boxes and cartons... any recyclable rubbish you find at home.  Be as creative or zany as you like and decorate the robot in a crazy way then invite him for tea!  Set a place at the table and serve up dinner!
• Get paintbrushes and paint the outside of the house with water.
• Eat something you have never eaten before. Go to the supermarket together and choose your menu.

None of us like too much change in our lives, but when changes are afoot in a children's life it can really affect them in a big way. It is really important to try and handle any changes in a sensitive and thoughtful way, to manage it proactively and to deal with it as if you were a child, not like an adult. Here are some thoughts about helping children cope with changes in their life.

• Chat to them about the change. Choose a time when they are calm and happy and speak easily and in a supportive manner.
• Talk about what your child enjoys at school and in clubs and then talk about what they don't like. This will help them feel confident enough to chat and may unearth some interesting facts you didn't know about.
• Talk about friends and people your children play with.
• Talk to their carers in private and discuss the issues.
• Try to keep to a routine and keep things the same.
• Give plenty of reassurance.

If a child is not coping with change you may spot some of the following:

• They become clingy and fearful to leave you
• They may become panicky and breathless
• They may complain of illness and headaches
• They may become less inclined to talk and communicate
• They may loose interest in activities
• They may become bad tempered and angry

There's nothing more distracting than your having your children misbehave, particularly when out in public, but what can you do to improve their behaviour? Here are a few tips to help guide them back to begin good, before things get out of hand!

• Give short term rewards for good behaviour
• Start a sticker chart or a way of showing that they have been good each day
• Don't criticise the child directly - you may criticise the behaviour though
• Don't reprimand in public or in front of friends
• Don't overload with instructions; instead give one instruction at a time
• Give lots of praise when you see good behaviour
• Be positive as much as you can
• Keep to a routine
• Make sure you tell them what's happening if it's out of the ordinary and explain what kind of behaviour you expect
• Be consistent

A recent survey by the Daycare Trust shows that over half of nurseries in London have seen a fall in demand over the past year.  This appears to be part of a wider picture of falling demand for childcare and will be of particular concern to nursery providers.  As the economy continues to face uncertain times, more and more mothers are choosing not to return to work after having babies, and that is one factor fueling the fall in demand for childcare places.

Rising childcare costs (more than twice the rate of inflation over the last year) are forcing many mothers to ditch work and look after young family themselves.  The average cost of childcare in England is £5,028 a year, rising to over £6,000 a year in London.  This is income that has already been taxed, and the cost of putting more than one child into childcare just becomes eye-watering!

Increasingly, at the moment, mothers are leaving work to raise their children at home.

On top of this, nursery providers have found that their costs are rising fast too, which is the main contributing factor to the rising cost of nursery places.  Rent rates have jumped hugely over the last few years, but so have many of their other costs including food, staff training and all the essential supplies needed by a nursery.  It seems that as the economy has suffered over the last few years, the global reaction has just been to raise prices for goods and services to make up for slump in demand. This isn't going to hold much longer - something is going to break.  The logical conclusion of this spiral of rising prices pushing down demand is that we will see nurseries closing and nursery chains going out of business.

This isn't all bad news for private childminders.  The additional costs of nursery provision will see a move towards more flexible childminders, with lower associated costs, so we predict a boom in private childcare provision over the next few years.  We are also seeing more babies being nurtured by their own families in their domestic setting, and that too has to be a good thing.  Whilst nurseries and childcare offer a wonderful service, allowing families to continue working, there is a lot to be said for not having to have two incomes simply to live from day to day.  Families that choose to stay home and raise children may have to cut back in some areas, but the marginal difference of a second salary after tax and childcare is making the 'stay at home' option look increasingly attractive!

When it feels like we can't cope, we begin to worry and get stressed and exactly the same is true of children. There are certain times when children might not not be calm: at times of great change such as moving house, parents separating or divorcing, when changing class or school, or making new friends.

Signs that your child might be stressed:

• They become aggressive
• They become withdrawn and very quiet
• They burst into tears easily
• They gain a reputation for being 'a worrier'.

Ways to help keep your child stress free:

• Keep a routine: children feel secure when they are in a good routine. They know what's going to happen next and how things work. If there is going to be a change then tell them and explain to them.
• Be organised: Help your child to be organised too by preparing for school the night before. Make sure everything is ready such as their bag, dinner money, PE kit, letters. Try and develop a system together to make sure things are ready. Hang book bags in a special place, keep shoes near the front door.
• Be on time: It's never a good feeling to be late, so try to make yourself on time or early for school or clubs etc. even if it means getting up early or leaving the house before normal!
• Be a role model: Try and be calm and organised yourself and show how to run a calm house and lifestyle.
• Have a chat: Make sure you speak to your children and listen to any worries or concerns. Take their worries seriously and be positive, supportive and encourage calm discussion rather than brush it off as unimportant.
• Try to imagine how they feel: put yourself in their shoes.
• Tell stories: Share stories in which people overcome fears or worries and succeed. Go to the library to find some books and share your own experiences or make up stories to show how to deal with concerns.
• Praise: Give plenty of encouragement and praise.
• Focus on the positive and their self esteem will grow. Congratulate them when they do well and tell them how good they have been etc.
• Bedtime: Make sure you have a calm and happy bed time. Read stories, have a bubbly bath, keep it calm and positive leaving all worries outside the bedroom.
• Be kind: Try to remember they are only little and in order for the children to grown in confidence and learn they need to feel supported and loved.

Paddling pools are incredibly reasonable at the moment and for a small amount of money you can pick up an inflatable pool that is great fun!  Here are a few important tips to keep the children safe in and around the pool.

• Never leave a baby toddler or child in a paddling pool even for the shortest time. It takes a moment for them to slip under the water which can be fatal. Children can drown in the smallest depth of water.
• If you need to leave them to get something, or to answer the front door or the phone, take them out of the pool while you are away. Make it clear they are not allowed to get into the pool without you there.  Take small children who may not understand or be able to follow instructions with you, keep them out of the garden while you are absent.
• Check the temperature of the water to make sure it is not too cold (if you've just filled it) or too warm if it's the end of a hot day. With enough sun, the water can get very warm.
• The grass may get wet and slippery around a paddling pool so be aware of the potential for accidents when the children climb out.
• Suncream is essential in the summer so keep the children covered up even when playing in the paddling pool. Keep them in loose clothes (T-shirt and light trousers or leggings) if there is a lot of sun.
• Make sure the children are aware that inside the pool is very slippery. Suggest they kneel rather than stand if unsteady on their feet.
• Keep an eye on any bees or wasps that might find themselves in the pool. Remove them with a slotted spoon to ensure they don't harm or sting the children.
• Make sure the children walk and don't run round the pool so they don't trip and accidentally fall in.
• Remove all toys at the end of the day so no one is tempted to reach in and get something from the pool and accidentally fall in.
• Keep an eye on the dept.  After rainfall it could be more full than when you last looked.

Enjoy your pool!

As our children grow day by day, there are many small changes that we may not notice; using a diary can help you observe and identify change over a longer period. Observational diaries are a good instrument for observing and monitoring over a long period.  Simply keeping a diary of what you do each day will highlight long term changes in development because when you compare entries weeks or months apart, you will see that your little ones are undertaking activities that were previously beyond their capabilities.

Diaries are a useful tool to explore long term concerns that you have, for example, to help identify what triggers certain physical conditions or behavioural patterns in your child.  If your child is prone to allergies, you might want to log what they eat, where you have been during the day, what the weather was like and how their allergies were manifested.  Over time you might pick out certain triggers such as food types, weather patterns or locations.  By isolating the causes you can then learn to avoid them.

If your children are cared for by childminders during the day then you should ask them to undertake monitoring for you, and to keep a regular diary.  ToucanLearn offers a Daily Diary which can be used for such purposes, fill entries in regularly and then look through them every couple of weeks in order to try to ascertain what you are looking for.

A new beauty salon has opened in Essex that offers makeovers, spray tans and facials for girls as young as one year old! The salon, which caters only for the under-13s has been opened in Brentwood, Essex.

The new beauty shop, called Trendy Monkeys, is owned by Michelle Devine and girls of any age can come in for various glamour treatments and services normally reserved for older women. They will even do a spray tan for a child if a requested.

Brentwood is the setting for the ITV series The Only Way Is Essex which follows the lives of glamour-obsessed young people. According to the owner the shop has been very successful already.  Apparently one of the first customers to be served in the new salon was only 16 months old.

It's okay to play make-believe and pop on a pair of Mummy's shoes and do role play games about looking after baby dolls or playing schools.  However, allowing and indeed encouraging, toddlers, small children and school age children to go to salons where they can study themselves and change the way they look is distasteful. Fake tans at eight, make-up at 4, manicures at 6, surely this is encouraging an obsession with how they look.

Part of childhood is being taken away and focusing on such activities is detrimental to normal childhood ideas and experiences. Children should be out walking, feeding the ducks, flying kites, throwing stick into streams and enjoying the carefree, happy days of childhood... not stuck in a salon under the nail dryer!

Is this a step towards the sexualisation of children, an erosion of the innocence of childhood?  Should wearing of make-up be a rite of passage when our children are more mature and not something to be experimented with and taken seriously at a young age?  Or are salons like Trendy Monkey's just a harmless bit of fun?