Sending your child to a childminder or nursery may actually help them in later life, according to a recent study.  Many working parents hesitate before sending their children to a carer, wondering how the separation will effect the child in later life.  However, according to one academic it does them good to be away from home for a few hours!  So, parents working long hours need not worry.  Mothers returning to work, need not feel guilty!

The Professor in charge of the study claims that those children who were in a cared for environment aged 2 and under, do actually go on to form better relationships later on when at school.  She said that nursery does the vast majority no harm at all.  Previous studies had concluded that children who were not at home most of the time when under 2 turned out to be more agressive when attending school, were more difficult to disipline and more inclined to be naughty and lead others astray.  But this new research disputes that, stating that this doesn't appear be the case.

The study followed 3,000 children over a 14 year period from 1996.  Parents have welcomed the findings, many of whom had believed earlier studies which suggested that there was a link between attendance at a nursery and aggression in later life, plus impaired social skills.

Of course, there are various ways of ensuring your child is in the best possible setting. Speak to other parents - get their opinion and recommendations.  Check thoroughly the standards of care whether it be a nursery or childminder.  Drop in, unannounced, and see what is going on!

A happy child plays, exhibits curiosity, shows an interest in things and other children; an unhappy child tends to need constant attention, they are withdrawn, quiet, and don't eat much.  They tend not to get involved with other children and don't ask questions or speak very much.  However, if you have a shy child who doesn't interact a great deal, that does not mean they are unhappy.  Being shy is not being sad.

P. Hollinger notes there are nine inborn signals that babies use to communicate feelings.  The following signals can also be spotted in toddlers and are good pointers to how happy the toddler is.

• Interest - a positive feeling
• Enjoyment - a positive feeling
• Distress - a negative feeling
• Anger - a negative feeling
• Fear - a negative feeling

Dealing with  Children and making them happy

Play - Toys, expensive clothes, lashings of ice cream: do these make children happy?  Perhaps in the short term, for an hour or two, but what really makes them happy is having fun with parents, grandparents or their childminders.  When they have fun and play games and laugh with you, that play creates joy.  It also helps with their imagination, creativity and relaxation.

Talents - Help children develop their own talents. If they are good at something, they will feel happy about that.  If they like modeling, keep some cartons and lids and let them create a robot out of boxes.  If they like drawing, then let them make a picture and hang it on the wall.  Help them master a skill and see how happy they will be.

Let them do what they want - Within reason, this is an important lesson for parents to understand.  No matter how much you want them to learn piano, if they don't want to then they won't enjoy it.  Try not to push them to do things they aren't interested in.  Listen to their own ideas.  If they are talking about going to football, rather than ballet, then give it a try.  And, try not to stick to gender prejudices.  Girls can play football, boys can do ballet!

Healthy bodies - To enable the children to play and run and enjoy life to the full, give them a healthy diet.  With good food, and lots of sleep they will have the ability to really tackle tasks and situations with energy. Give them lots of time to run around.

Sad time - Being a bit sad is okay so don't try and shake them out of a mood if they are feeling a bit down.  They need to be independent people and able to gauge their own moods.  You can encourage them to explain how they feel and try and explain or get out of the mood together.

Be a Good Role Model - Children pick up on moods and are sensitive to other's feelings so try to be positive in your own mood and outlook.  They will pick up on this and it will influence their own behaviour.

Researchers have carried out tests on 1,200 children and maintain that those children who have reached the stage of learning how to tell lies have actually reached a milestone in their mental development.  They claim that the children who lied about turning round to look at a teddy while alone in a room, have better cognitive abilities than those who did not lie.  They were able to make it look convincing, keeping the truth at the back of their minds rather than at the forefront.

By age 2, 1 in 5 children will lie.  By age 5 about 90% will lie.  However, this doesn't mean you have a delinquent on your hands!  And, if your toddler tends to lie, then it does not mean they will cheat at exams.  The age where children are most likely to tell fibs, is age 7.  It is by then that you must make sure children do not lie about important things.  White lies to protect someone or avoid hurting feelings shouldn't cause too much concern.

One test that will shed light on whether you child is good at lying or not is to carry out the 'Pinocchio Test'.  If your child asks for a biscuit or treat, reply with, "What did Daddy say?".  If they reply with a convincing "He said yes!" and look rightwards, this shows they are probably lying because their eyes are "seeing" an image of the treat rather than remembering an image.  If they look left they were not lying as they are recalling an image that is actual rather than creating an image in their head.  Try it out!

All children under five will continue to have the chance to get free milk in preschool settings according to the recent announcement from Downing Street.  The Government has confirmed that 1/3 pint of milk will be given to all under fives who attend a day care setting.

It had been reported that Anne Milton, UK Health Minster, intended to scrap the scheme on the grounds of cost.  It currently costs around £50m (double what it was five years ago).  By 2011/12 it is expected to cost around £59m a year.  Instead of providing milk, the value of Health Start vouchers were to be increased, which would help the poorest families rather than all under fives no matter what their parent's income level.

Milk is vital to children's development.  It contains vitamins and minerals that are important for growth and development as well as calcium which is important for healthy teeth and bones.

However, Downing Street has confirmed that free milk is set to stay!

Toddlers are reknowned for falling over: although they try very hard to walk and run, they often end up in a pile on the floor; learning and falling over is all part of the process!

Every day your toddler is learning and through playing simple games they are constantly working towards acquiring new skills.  Here are a few examples of what children are actually learning (without realising!) when they are playing with various toys:-

Ride-on toys (scooters, trucks, trikes etc) - strengthen muscles and improve balance.  They also give your toddler a sence of mobility and the idea that then can get around the place in different ways.

Trundle truck (shopping cart or toy lawn mower) - these are great for balance and improving walking and running skills.  They are also great for role play.  Don't limit your children to the stereotypes though.  Why shouldn't a boy have a dolly pram and a girl have  truck?

Obstacle course - put some rope in a curvey line on the ground or a plank of wood if you have one.  Make stepping stones with sheets of newspaper.  See if they can negotiate the obstacles.

Rolling a ball - All children love balls.  Although toddlers can't really kick a ball while standing on one foot, they can knee it or move it along with a push.  This helps their balance and to understand the idea of cause and effect, that if you push a ball, it will roll.

So, give them plenty of opportunity to play with different toys and keep them active.  Try out other people's toys and swap larger toys with other families so everyone gets a taste of diferent things to play on (without the expense!).

Give them plenty of encouragement and be enthusiastic when they ask to go out to play no matter the weather.  Supporting children by keeping them enthusiastic and encouraged is vital.  Give them freedom to explore too - if they want to walk along a low wall then give them your hand, put an arm round them and let them try it out!  It will make them even more keen to try new things.

The sound of a baby laughing is addictive and for many babies, and their parents too, being tickled is the funniest thing in the world - but do they really enjoy it?

When we are tickled, it is not 'real' laughter.  Research has shown that when we are tickled, it is not the same as proper laughter brought on when something is funny.  Unlike real laughter, tickling does not  prime us for more laughter like a series of jokes might.  Comics have a warm-up act to get us laughing; once we've started laughing, we're more inclined inclined to laugh at the main act that follows.  But tickling does not have this effect and does not set us up for more laughter.  Instead, it is just the outward appearance of pleasure without the actual pleasurable feeling.

A few studies have shown that babies are actually uncomfortable with tickling both behaviourally and psychologically. They fuss and show increased heart rate.  Some researchers have said that there is no positive data on tickling and that parents should not tickle at all!  However, babies are good at communicating dislike and surely if they were not enjoying the tickling, they would let us know with a cry or a scream?  Some say that tickling is an important part of bonding between parent and child. It's the beginning of forming social relationships.  Their laughter encourages us to continue tickling, so we should.

So perhaps we should tickle a bit, bond a bit, laugh a bit and remember that it might be more fun for us than them, so keep it to an acceptable level!

Parenting expert, Peneolope Leach, has said that leaving a baby to cry is potentially damaging - if a baby is left to cry on a regular basis it could be damaging to the developing baby.  These claims are made in her book, The Essential First Year, published earlier this year.  This is, of course, in total contrast to the work of Gina Ford, who claims that parents should leave a baby crying, so to teach them to settle themselves.

Leach has used saliva swabs to measure the level of the stress hormone cortisol in crying babies who get no comfort from their parents.  Leach claims that neurobiologists say these hormones are toxic to the developing brain and therefore maintains that it is fact, and not opinion, that it is damaging.

She admits that all babies cry, and agrees that some cry more than others.  However she maintains that in the first year, babies cry to get a response and by parents ignoring this effort to communicate, and elicit a response, they are risking long term consequences. She says babies cry for a reason, their lungs are not just needing exercise!  She also states that babies are not capable of fooling their parents or "blackmail" in the first 18 months so a cry is there for a reason.

Leach is an honorary senior researcher fellow at the Tavistock Clinic and the Institute for the Study of Children, Family and Social Issues. 

'Mark making' is the action of making marks on paper with a writing implement and defines the beginning of the journey to literacy - the ability to read and write.  Long before a baby is able to make marks there are skills that must be learned in order to control the body, developing both fine and gross motor skills, as well as a mental grasp of making marks on paper.   Here are some ideas to help your child gain the confidence to make marks and some ways to encourage them at the various stages of development.  From the earliest age babies and toddlers can be preparing to learn writing in later life, and the earlier they start, the more confident they will be.

Up to one year the adult needs to:

• encourage the child to explore
• encourage lots of large muscle control activities such as crawling, rolling
• join in with these activities
• show an interest in random marks
• provide toys that can be gripped easily

18months - 2 years the adult needs to:

• show lots of interest in the marks made
• look at patterns and marks together and try out new shapes to draw and scribbles
• give your child the chance to see your writing and write in front of them (look at books, notes and cards etc)
• provide lots of materials to write with and to write on
• play with your child and imitate their marks and suggest they watch and copy your marks too

2 - 3 years the adult needs to:

• point out your child's name and look at other letters and words in your house/town
• look at shapes and the scribbles together and show a real interest

3 - 4 years the adult needs to:

• show your child how to write letters and words and read them back
• show how to use different writing materials
• talk about letters and pictures the child has drawn
• show how to write notes and cards and lists etc.
• show lots of interest in their creations
• show the child that writing is useful e.g. messages in cards, words in a book, instructions for a game
• encourage them to write their name on their pictures and displays
• identify familiar letters in names
• show them how to hold the pencil correctly

Up to 5 years old, an adult needs to:

• show how to read a book from left to right
• show them different names of people they know and talk about them
• encourage correct letter formation
• encourage a child to talk about their drawings and writing

How do babies and toddlers learn to speak and acquire the knowledge to form sentences and become fluent communicators?  Is it a natural skill they acquire or do they need help?  Certainly children begin to learn to speak from the very day they are born.  However, it is up to parents, to make sure they provide the children with the very best opportunity to learn to speak and communicate well.

How do they learn?

• Talk To Them - A mother who chats to her baby from the very first day, while feeding or walking or changing the nappy, is doing a great job to encourage good spoken language.  Babies learn by hearing the spoken word and repeating and learning it for themselves.
• Show Them - Parents that discuss things in front of their children demonstrate the use of language and show the children how to discuss and communicate as adults.
• Play with Them - Have toy telephones to play with and set up pretend conversations.  Chat about all sorts of easy things and encourage chatter.
• Share with Them - Families that have discussions over a meal share in the joy of eating and talking.  Simply asking what happened at school or nursery today can be the simple question that leads to a great family chat!

Types of Language

By nine months, babies can understand simple words and commands ('stop', 'come here', etc.) even if they can't speak the words themselves. This is because there are 2 types of language knowledge: Receptive and Expressive language.  When we listen we use our receptive vocabulary, when we speak or write we use our expressive vocabulary.

A child's passive vocabulary is improved through continuous repetition of words and phrases.  Once repeated enough it becomes part of their passive vocabulary.  So, the active vocabulary can only be improved through use of the passive. A child has to hear a word 500 times before it becomes part of their active vocabulary, so a parent needs to speak as much as they can to their children and in front of their children.

Building blocks are a timeless toy and a set of soft blocks made from material, or even knitted from wool, will bring your baby loads of enjoyment in their first few years.  An early game to play with babies is to stack up toys near them and encourage your baby to knock them down.  Clap and cheer when your baby achieves this and they will quickly associate their actions with your praise and this will encourage them to knock down your towers.

Blocks usually come in bright colours and often have pictures, letters or numbers on their faces.  This early exposure to colours and patterns will help them to distinguish between colours and to recognise the different shapes later on.  When they are able to grasp blocks for themselves, your little one will delight in trying to build their own towers and knocking them down themselves.  All of this helps to refine their motor skills and to understand how objects interact with one another and how they act when knocked over.

As your children grow older, plain blocks can be change for construction blocks such as Duplo, Lego or Megablocks.  These appeal both to boys and girls and will last an entire childhood, teaching children how to construct models and giving them a great understanding of the physical world.

It may look like scribbles to us, but from a very early age, the marks that children make on a page are an important step towards learning to write and communicating; through their marks children are communicating their ideas, showing us how they feel and developing their imagination.  They are also being creative - however messy or scribbly their picture or words look.   Having lots of opportunities to make marks is fundamental and every child should have the chance to draw, scribble, make lines and pictures when ever they want.

From the moment a baby holds a crayon and makes their very first mark on a page, their journey towards writing has begun.  But it needn't be a conventional pencil they write with first on a clean sheet of paper.  There are all sorts of other ways to get babies and toddlers used to the idea of mark making.

By a year old, a child can grasp and reach for objects by choice and at this age it is good to introduce all sorts of media to their world in order for them to be confident when using different materials.  They can grip objects with the palm of their hand, use a pincer movement with thumb and finger and point.  So once they can do this, they can begin mark making using things other than pencils.

Babies start mark making by:

1. Making patterns in food (using a spoon to squash mash potato and make lines and curves)
2. Putting their fingers in spilled baked beans and making patterns with their finger (messy, but it's a start!)
3. Smearing jam over their arm and making interesting marks

Early stages of writing:

1. Holding a pencil or crayon in the palm of the hand
2. Making lots of random marks on the paper (scribbles!)
3. Holding crayons more securely
4. Making specific marks
5. Making circles that they draw closed (ie a round circle that joins up)
6. Combining circles and lines
7. Copying adult's drawings
8. Making lines of zig-zags or little circles more like lines of writing

Although it is only scribbling, those early marks made by a toddlers are the first steps towards writing... and its a long journey.  The best way is to encourage and praise at every stage - even when you are presented with a mass of scribbles and you are told its a giraffe!  To the little ones its clearly a giraffe.  To us, its a smudged, messy page of lines and circles.  So, try and be enthusiastic and encourage at every step.

Beginning legible Writing

1. The child then begins to copy letters from their name - the first letter is usually their first one to choose.
2. They understand that drawing and writing is different
3. They are aware that words communicate a message
4. They then form symbols and letters that they recognise (favourite letters they know well)
5. They become aware of the left to right nature of writing
6. They then begin to want to "read" their words and other words

Beginning to write Words

1. They then are able with practice to start writing their name with upper and lower case letters
2. They write sentences
3. They use upper case letter at the beginning of the sentence and add a full stop at the end
4. Start using words in play such as writing a list or playing schools and writing lists of names

When babies are born almost all of their teeth are already formed and remain hidden in the gums.  They begin to cut through when the baby is about 6 months but this can be earlier or later in some children.  All children develop at their own pace.

The first to come through tend to be the bottom two front teeth.  Then come the top four front teeth and the rest of the mouth then gradually fills up.  Most children have all their baby teeth by the age of three.

Do not be alarmed if the teeth have spaces between them.  As there is a difference in the size of the baby and adult teeth, there may be gaps.  The spaces make it easier to brush the teeth too.

Although baby teeth eventually fall out, they are important because:

• They help the child eat and chew
• They help the child speak correctly
• They prepare for the adult teeth
• They guide the adult teeth into position

Caring for your baby's teeth:-

• Brush with a soft baby tooth brush twice a day
• Use a pea-sized amount of toothpaste specially designed for babies
• Start by brushing the teeth yourself and then allow the child the chance to brush on their own; get into the habit of brushing twice a day

It may look like scribbles, but from a very early age, the marks that children make on a page are an important step towards learning to write and communicate.  Through their marks children are communicating their ideas, showing us how they feel and developing their own imagination.  They are also being creative no matter how messy or scribbly their picture or words look to us when they have finished.

Give your child regular opportunities to make marks, draw, scribble, make lines and create pictures - at home, in the garden, in the park, at the restaurant, in the car.  There are lots of times you can settle them down to draw and write and keep themselves entertained at the same time!

From the moment a baby holds a crayon and makes their very first mark on a page, their journey towards writing had begun.   It may not be a conventional pencil used to write on a clean sheet of paper, but there are all sorts of other ways to get babies and toddlers used to the idea of mark making.   Here are  a few ideas to begin with:

• Salt Tray: Sprinkle salt into a tray and let your child make swirls and lines and marks. Put some tools in there too so they can use those.
• Cornflakes: A tray of cornflakes makes a crunchy media to play with and make marks in. Listen to the noise as you crunch them and let them fall between your fingers.
• Flour: A tray of flour is great for mark making as the lines remain. When they want a clean tray to write in, just shake it flat. Or add water making it gooey and slimy. Great fun!
• Textured messy play: Add lentils, beads, pasta to wet flour and make it more textured.
• Finger paint: Draw pictures and make marks with finger paints.
• Sky write: Get children to make letters in the sky.
• Back writing: Draw shapes on a child's back and see if they can make it out.
• Sand tray: Draw a shape or letter in a tray of sand and get your child to trace over it.  Shake the sand flat to start again.
• Chalk: Draw letters and patterns on a chalk board or pavement
• Pencils and crayons: Get lots of different and fun crayons and pencils for your child to experiment with.  Each feels different and makes different marks.
• Paper: Get different types of paper, colours, textured, lined etc and have fun working with each sort.

Don't be pressed into potty training because your friends are going through the same with their children - your baby will give you signs that they are ready to be potty trained.  Until your baby is ready, attempting to potty train is a waste of time, there are certain milestones to reach first.

Most important is that your child should be physically developed enough to be able to keep themselves dry for three or four hours at a time.  If they aren't able to control their bladder at all, then they won't know when they need to go to the toilet.  It is also good that they can walk and can pull their own pants up and down.  In terms of language, your little one should be able to understand and follow instructions and should also be able to communicate that they need to go to the toilet.

As they are approaching the right moment, most children start to take an inquisitive interest in the toilet, taking a deeper interest when you go to the toilet and in your bathroom habits.  This is a good sign that they are ready to learn to potty train and make that move to independence sooner rather than later.

Your little one may stay in nappies overnight for some time after potty training - this is perfectly normal.  It takes a well developed bladder to be able to go through the night without wetting themselves.  Lifting them to the toilet during the night just before you go to bed will help them become more aware of when they need the toilet during the night.

Slightly older children are often too distracted by what they are doing than to consider going to the toilet.  Long after potty training you'll spot your little ones doing an awkward dance perhaps with their hand at their crotch - a sure sign that they are in discomfort because they need to go to the toilet, but they are too distracted to have made the connection and gone themselves.  Remind them to go to the toilet and they'll most likely disappear in an urgent flurry as realisation dawns!

With the football World Cup underway, football fever has gripped the nation - no doubt dad's are looking at their baby and toddler sons, wondering whether they could represent their country in the 2030 World Cup final?!  Well, it might require a bit of imagination, but anything is possible!

Like any sport, football offers family fun - yes, perhaps only the children are on the pitch, but the family can support the team, get to know all the players and help with the logistics of running a young football club.  Football offers a great opportunity for regular exercise and the game will instill physical and social skills in your children.

Children won't be able to join a local football club until they are 5 or 6, although there are some organisations that start introducing children to sport skills from the age of 3 upwards.  Initially they'll be working with balls and running around obstacles to help practice their dexterity.  Just as a toddler is beginning to learn how to control their body, they can begin to practice those skills that will help them on a sports field in later life.

There's an enormous leap from local football team to world cup qualifier, but starting early and developing good motor skills early on will certainly give your little ones a head start over many other aspiring players out there!